Saturday, June 12, 2010

Out of the mouths of babes

As a (former) kindergarten teacher, I've come across some pretty funny quotes from students of mine. I even have a document where I'm saving them all in hopes of writing a short book one day. This little conversation, though not from one of my kindergarten classes, is rather humorous.

On our way up to a wedding this weekend, Nathan and I stopped at an In N Out Burger for lunch. At the end of our meal I went to the restroom. All the stalls were being used so I waited my turn. As one of the doors unlocked a mother and her young son, perhaps 3 or 4 stepped out. The little boy looked me up and down over and over again, and as I went into the stall and locked the door I heard this conversation:

Boy: Mommy, why is that lady's tummy so big?
Mom: She has a baby in her tummy.
Boy: But, where is the baby?
Mom: It's inside her tummy growing, just like you were. You were in mommy's tummy when you were real little too.
Boy: But how did the baby get there?
Mom: (in a hurried voice) Let's wash your hands honey.

Ah. Children. How I love their innocent wonder of the world. Too funny. Nathan says I should have shouted "I'm not pregnant!" but it's just a little too obvious at this point.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Day at the DMV and other such pregnancy adventures

I recently had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Actually go to the government building, pay the fee, take an eye exam and a new picture. Although I think this is unfair while pregnant, there's no controlling that and it seemed easy enough.


As most of us Californians know, our state government is in a sad sad state as of late. The DMV (along with almost all government offices) is now closed certain days of the month for furlough days. This limits the amount of time one can conduct business with them. Ugh. So, even though I had made an appointment and arrived on time, I still had to wait in a long line just to tell them I was there. Then I, like everyone else, took a number (yes, after waiting in line), and waited for my number to be called.

The visit did not go as well as I would have hoped.

First of all, it was raining that day. And the line was out the door in the rain. Fabulous. Then some man is smoking directly behind me. Um, hello, pregnant woman in the very near vicinity! So I went Mama Bear on him and he stepped further away and exhaled in another direction.

Then when I finally reached the lady at the reception desk, she complimented my hair. Which sounds great, right? Except that her hair resembled Farrah Fawcett circa 1975. Oh no.

Then I realized that I had forgotten the document which had all my info on it that I was bring. Shoot. As I'm finishing up filling out a brand new document to replace the old one, my number gets called.

I pay my fee. The man asks me to read the letters on a chart against the wall. All I see are fuzzy b's, p's, q's, e's and other letters I'm not entirely sure about. My vision is shot. Pregnancy doesn't help. My driver's license now says I need corrective lenses. When did THAT happen??

I take my picture, forgetting to remove my bright yellow purse on my shoulder. After the click, the man says, "Great picture. Even got those dimples in there." Um, what? I have dimples?? Since when??? Apparently my face is fatter now too. And I have dimples.

I then go to New Leaf market to get a few groceries. Granted, these were groceries that I was craving, not necessarily healthy things, namely: Coconut bliss ice cream, Green and Black's chocolate bar and 2 for 1 Odwalla protein drinks. Hey, gotta get that protein in there from other sources than just meat!!
The guy at the checkout stand then comments as he's beeping through my purchases, "Well, someone's trying to gain weight!"

Sheesh. What a day.