Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Waiting Game

Well, the due date came and went. And I'm still pregnant. I know a few days is really not a big deal, and yes, some women do gestate for 42+ weeks, even though modern American medicine doesn't usually let you go that long.

But still. I admit to my impatience. And though Nate and I are ready; ready as we'll ever be, there are times where I think, (and this is usually in the dark watches of the night), "I'm not ready...I can't do this...give birth?? Parent??? Oh no no no. What was I thinking?" And then I first try and make some deal with God; going back to working full time as a kindergarten teacher, planning vacations to far away places with my beloved husband. Just us two. But then I eventually end up surrendering to God and where I am at right now with this little soul inside me.
Ha, like I had a choice. :/
Anyway, it's a mental surrender, which in truth is more powerful.

And then there are the logical thoughts. Impatience is still hovering, but at least I can acknowledge that it is time. A life change is upon us and we need not be fearful. We've been married for 8.5 years. We've had each other to ourselves for that long. EVERY night was date night and we'll always get to reminisce fondly about our time together. And we do. But, now we get to share it with a new little life. And that is exciting. It will be hard, but so is marriage to a degree.
Not only are we welcoming a new baby with open arms and minds, but a new phase in life. And that's worth waiting for.